When Your Nervous System Is Dysregulated: The Hidden Symptoms Nobody Talks About
Cinnamon and Pip chewing cud — a real-life example of ‘rest and digest.’
Ruminants only chew cud when their nervous system feels safe. Humans are no different: digestion only happens when our body believes the environment is calm enough.
By Wandering Willow Psychotherapy | Somatic & Trauma Therapy in Ontario
Disclaimer: This post is for educational purposes and is not medical advice. Many physical symptoms can have medical causes, and a medical assessment is always recommended for new or worsening symptoms. What I describe here reflects patterns I have seen repeatedly in clinical practice with clients experiencing trauma, stress, or long-term nervous system dysregulation.
Why So Many People Feel Symptoms Their Doctor Can't Explain
Many clients come to therapy saying:
“My stomach reacts before I even feel stressed.”
“Sex hurts when nothing medically is wrong.”
“My chronic pain gets worse after emotional conflict.”
“I shut down or fawn when things get overwhelming.”
“I get overstimulated by sound, touch, or even clutter.”
This is the nervous system speaking.
When your system is dysregulated, symptoms show up in digestion, pain levels, sexual functioning, emotional responses, sensory processing, and decision-making.
Below are the most common nervous system symptoms I see — and resources for each.
1. Digestive Issues: When Stress Shows Up in the Gut
People often think digestive issues are “just stress,” but the gut is one of the most sensitive markers of nervous system dysregulation.
Common symptoms:
nausea
bloating
IBS-like patterns
loss of appetite or sudden hunger
constipation or urgency
“gut shutdown” during overwhelm
Chronic stress, trauma, and fawning/fight/flight states directly affect gut motility and digestion through the vagus nerve.
Resources for the Gut–Brain Connection
Book: Gut: The Inside Story of Our Body’s Most Underrated Organ — Giulia Enders
Podcast: Huberman Lab – Episode: The Scientist of Your Gut Sense and Gut Brain Axis
Article: Harvard Health – “The Brain–Gut Connection”
2. Chronic Pain & Chronic Illness Flares
Those with Chronic Pain and illnesses are very familiar with this statement:
“Every time I’m overwhelmed emotionally, my pain increases.”
A dysregulated nervous system can intensify:
joint pain
migraines
muscle tension
autoimmune flares
fatigue crashes
inflammation spikes
This is because prolonged stress keeps the body in a protective state, compressing muscles, narrowing breath, and increasing stress hormones. Particularly with chronic pain which employs something called central sensitization. When pain lasts a long time because of injury, trauma, stress, illness, or emotional overwhelm the nervous system begins to learn pain.
It becomes better at producing pain, even from small or harmless triggers.
It’s like the volume knob on your pain system gets turned up… and stuck there.
Resources for Pain & Trauma
Book: The Body Keeps the Score — Bessel van der Kolk
Book: Explain Pain — Lorimer Moseley
Podcast: “Pain Reframed”
App: Curable
3. Sexual Functioning: Desire, Pain, & Erectile Difficulties
Many people don’t realize sexual functioning is nervous-system dependent though there can be many other factors that impact sexual desire. One of the biggest ones that we discuss in sex therapy is the brain which makes sense since it’s the biggest sex organ.
A system in fight/flight/freeze/fawn will not prioritize pleasure.
A. Loss of desire
Clients describe:
feeling disconnected
not wanting sex even with a loving partner
desire shutting off after stress or conflict
B. Pain during sex
(pelvic tension, burning, tightness)
Trauma, fawning, emotional pressure, or chronic stress or anxiety can involuntarily tighten the pelvic floor.
C. Erectile difficulties
Often related to:
performance anxiety
emotional disconnection
stress load
fear of disappointing partner
Sexual Health Resources
Book: Come As You Are — Emily Nagoski
Podcast: “Sex With Emily” on stress & libido
App: Ferly
4. Fight, Flight, Freeze & Fawn Responses
One of the clearest ways to understand fight, flight, freeze, and fawn is to picture your nervous system as a guardian dog like our Hercules loyal, alert, and always trying to keep you safe.
When something feels stressful or uncertain an argument, a tone of voice, a deadline, a memory you didn’t expect—the internal guardian perks up. It doesn’t wait for you to consciously decide if you’re in danger. It reacts first, because protecting you is its primary job. (Which is also common in guardian dogs and there have been a few times he has reacted strongly to us which is why Hercules is never part of therapy other than in analogies!)
Over time, especially with chronic stress, trauma, or emotional overwhelm, the guardian dog can forget how to relax.
It begins barking at everything even things that aren’t dangerous.
That’s where the survival responses come in:
Fight
When the guardian dog senses threat, it may growl, bark, or puff up to protect you.
In humans, this looks like irritability, frustration, tension, or snapping.
Not because you're “angry,” but because your system is trying to push the threat away.
Flight
Sometimes the guardian dog decides the best option is to run the other direction.
In people, this shows up as busyness, avoidance, overworking, or the urge to get out of a situation quickly.
Freeze
If the dog is overwhelmed or unsure what the danger is, it may freeze and go still, listening for more information.
Humans experience this as shutting down, zoning out, going blank, feeling stuck, or being unable to make decisions.
Fawn
This response is like the guardian dog rolling onto its back to keep the peace.
It shows up as people-pleasing, smoothing things over, staying small, apologizing, or taking responsibility that isn’t yours in order to avoid conflict.
None of these reactions mean something is wrong with you.
They mean your internal guardian is doing its best, even if it’s overprotective.
When the nervous system has been under strain for a long time through trauma, chronic stress, high-conflict relationships, burnout, or simply managing too much alone the guardian dog begins to bark at smaller and smaller things.
Your body isn't misbehaving.
It’s trying to keep you safe with the tools it knows.
In therapy, we help retrain this internal protector so it can rest, discern real danger from emotional stress, and respond from a place of safety rather than urgency.
Resources for Survival States
Book: Anchored — Deb Dana
Book: Waking the Tiger — Peter Levine
Website: Rhythmofregulation.com
5. Sensory Overwhelm: When the World Feels Too Loud
Clients describe:
being overstimulated by sound
difficulty with touch or certain fabrics
overwhelm in stores or crowds
sensitivity to clutter
needing more downtime than others
shutting down after masking all day
This is extremely common in people with trauma histories, ADHD, ASD traits, or chronic stress.
It is a sign that the body’s regulation bandwidth is low.
Resources for Sensory Overwhelm
Book: The Highly Sensitive Person — Elaine Aron
Podcast: “The HSP Podcast”
Nervous System Resource: Polyvagal Exercises for Safety & Connection — Deb Dana
ADHD Sensory Resource: “How to ADHD” YouTube channel
What All These Symptoms Have in Common
Your nervous system is doing its best to keep you safe even when the danger is emotional, relational, or long in the past.
When we work with nervous system patterns in therapy, people often notice improvement in:
digestion
libido
pain
emotional stability
sleep
boundaries
sensory tolerance
relationship satisfaction
Your body is not malfunctioning. It’s communicating.
If You See Yourself in These Symptoms
You’re not alone, and you’re not imagining it.
Working with a somatic and trauma therapist in Ontario can help you understand what your body is doing and why and more importantly, how to support it.
Wandering Willow Psychotherapy provides virtual therapy across Ontario and in-person therapy near Napanee, Kingston, and the surrounding areas.