What Is the Nervous System?

A quiet moment with the horses — one of the clearest places I see the nervous system in action.

By Wandering Willow Psychotherapy | Somatic & Trauma Therapy in Ontario

Most people hear the phrase “your nervous system” all the time — especially when talking about stress, anxiety, overwhelm, or trauma — but very few people actually know what it means. And honestly, why would they? No one ever teaches it in a way that feels human or understandable.

When I explain it to clients, I often draw from my nursing background because that’s where the real picture becomes clear. We talk about the mind like it’s separate from the body, but the nervous system doesn’t work that way. It’s deeply physical, deeply automatic, and deeply relational. It shapes how you feel, how you respond, how you cope, and even how you connect to other people.

Let’s talk about it in a way that makes sense — not like a science lecture, but like a conversation.

Your Nervous System Is Your Body’s Internal Communication & Safety System

I often tell people,
“You have a nerve that runs from your brainstem, down your neck and spine, and into almost every organ in your body.”

This is your vagus nerve, and it touches so many parts of you — your heart, your lungs, your voice, your digestion, your face — quietly influencing how safe, stressed, present, or overwhelmed you feel.

This is why stress doesn’t stay “in your head.”
Your nervous system sends its messages everywhere.

Your chest tightens.
Your stomach flips.
Your breath shortens.
Your sleep changes.
Your mood shifts.
Your shoulders rise without you noticing.

Your body responds long before your thoughts catch up.

Two Main States: Protection and Settling

People often imagine the nervous system as something you only notice when you’re panicking or when something dramatic happens. But the nervous system is working constantly, scanning your environment, your relationships, your workload, and even your internal world.

You move between two main physiological states — not in a list, but in the natural rhythm of being human.

There’s the protective state, where everything speeds up a little. Your heart beats faster, your breath gets shallow, your muscles tighten. You feel alert, tense, maybe irritable, maybe restless. This is your body trying to protect you — whether the threat is a real emergency or simply an emotional one like conflict, pressure, exhaustion, or holiday stress.

And then there’s the settling state, where your body softens. Your shoulders drop. Your breathing deepens. Your mind feels clearer. You feel connected instead of guarded. Your digestion turns back on. You feel more like yourself.

This is the state where rest, safety, intimacy, presence, and regulation live.

Neither state is good or bad. Both keep you alive. Both shift without your permission.

Why You Can’t Think Your Way Out of Stress

Here’s something people find relieving:

Your nervous system responds before you do.

You don’t choose for your heart to speed up in a hard conversation.
You don’t choose to feel overwhelmed before a holiday gathering.
You don’t choose to get irritable when your system is overloaded.

Your body reacts first.
Your thoughts come after.

Your nervous system listens to tone of voice, facial expressions, the pace of your day, emotional pressure, old memories, sensory overload, exhaustion, or simply the feeling of “too much.” It changes states in a split second, long before you consciously register what’s happening.

This is why stress feels so physical.

Because it is physical.

A Farm Moment That Explains It Perfectly

Horses have a sensitive nervous systems of any domestic animal. Their survival depended on being able to detect subtle danger before the rest of the herd. When something shifts in their environment — a sudden noise, a rustle in the trees, a change in the wind — their entire body notices at once.

I’ve watched one of our horses go from soft, slow grazing to full alert instantly: head up, breath held, muscles pulled tight like a bowstring. That moment is pure sympathetic activation — the same fight-or-flight response we experience.

Their heart rate increases.
Their breathing becomes shallow.
Every muscle prepares to move.

But here’s the part that always stays with me: when the moment of potential danger passes, horses don’t stay stuck. Their body completes the stress response. Their breath deepens, their muscles loosen, their tail softens. Sometimes they shake their entire body in one big, visible release — the physical sign of their parasympathetic nervous system coming back online. (If you want to learn more about what happens when the stress response doesn’t get to complete, I wrote a separate blog about escaping the hippo and understanding the stress cycle — you can read it here

They don’t shame themselves for reacting. They don’t overthink it. They don’t push through. They don’t say, “I shouldn’t be stressed.”

They simply let the cycle finish.

Humans often don’t. We get triggered or overwhelmed, and instead of releasing the tension, we layer on expectations, pressure, self-judgment, productivity, and emotional labour. We brace instead of settle.

Watching the horses reminds me that regulation isn’t about staying calm — it’s about being able to come back. To return. To let your body know that the moment has passed.

Your body is built to do this too.
It may just need space, permission, and a little support to remember how.

How the Nervous System Becomes Overloaded

People often come to therapy saying things like:

“I’m fine but I don’t feel fine.”
“Everything feels loud.”
“I don’t know why I’m so tired.”
“I’m snapping at everyone.”
“I can’t slow down.”
“Nothing is wrong, but something feels off.”

This is the nervous system saying,
“I’ve been working too hard for too long.”

It’s the quiet kind of overwhelm — the one that doesn’t show up dramatically but slowly erodes your energy, patience, and sense of self.

You’re not failing.
Your system is tired.

Supporting Your Nervous System Gently

You don’t need a perfect routine or a long meditation practice to help your body. The nervous system responds to small, consistent cues of safety.

A slower breath than the one before.
A moment to exhale fully.
Letting your shoulders drop for two seconds.
Eating before you crash.
Stepping outside to feel the air.
Letting yourself soften instead of push.

These micro-moments matter.
They remind your body that it's allowed to settle.

Understanding Your Nervous System Can Change Everything

When you realize your reactions are physiological — not personal flaws — something shifts.
You stop blaming yourself for being overwhelmed.
You stop expecting yourself to “push through it.”
You start working with your body instead of fighting it.

And that’s where healing begins.

Want to Learn More? Here are gentle, helpful starting points

Books:

• Anchored by Deb Dana — a warm, accessible guide to the vagus nerve and regulation

• Waking the Tiger by Peter Levine — gentle somatic explanations of how the body releases stress

• The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk — a deeper dive into trauma and the nervous system

If Your Nervous System Has Been Working Overtime… You’re Not Alone

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, disconnected from yourself, or stuck in survival mode, your nervous system may be asking for support.

I offer virtual therapy across Ontario with a strong focus on nervous-system awareness, trauma-informed care, and the mind–body connection.

Call or text to book a free 20-minute consult.

You don’t have to navigate this alone.