Mother goose spreading her wings protectively over her goslings, illustrating instinctive stress responses and vigilance in animals.
Life on the farm is full of lessons about the body.
Animals don’t hide stress the way humans do — it’s visible in every movement, breath, and sound.
When the goats are overwhelmed, they shake, pace, or bellow.
When the horses are tense, you can see it ripple down their backs like a wave.
And when the danger passes, they release it — a sigh, a shake, a flick of the tail — and then they go right back to grazing.
That’s what regulation looks like.
It’s not about never getting stressed — it’s about knowing how to return to balance.
When we lose touch with our stress
In contrast, humans are experts at pretending we’re fine.
We hold our breath, tighten our shoulders, and say:
“I’m not stressed — just tired.”
“It’s been a lot lately, but I’m fine.”
I hear it all the time in therapy.
Sometimes it sounds like anxiety.
Sometimes exhaustion or irritability.
And sometimes it sneaks in through places people least expect — like sex.
Because here’s the truth:
When your body is stuck in stress mode, pleasure, connection, and even orgasm become physiologically harder to reach.
The physiology behind stress
When the body is stressed, the nervous system shifts into survival mode.
Blood moves away from digestion, rest, and reproduction, and toward the muscles and heart. It’s brilliant for escaping danger — but not so great for feeling desire, safety with a partner, or ease.
If this sounds familiar: feeling disconnected from your body, or rushing through moments.
It’s stress physiology.
This is also why stress often lingers even after the danger has passed.
(👉 You can read more about how stress gets stuck — and how the body completes the stress cycle — in this post: https://www.wanderingwillowpsychotherapy.ca/blog/escaping-the-hippo-understanding-the-stress-cycle-and-managing-anxiety)
Why we stop noticing stress
Our bodies are built to send us signals — hunger, thirst, rest, excitement.
But when those signals are repeatedly ignored, they eventually quiet down.
If every time your body says:
“I’m tired,” you push through
“I’m anxious,” you say, “I’m fine”
The body learns there’s no point in speaking up.
Eventually, stress shows up in other ways:
trouble sleeping
muscle tension
digestive issues
low libido or difficulty with arousal
The body always finds a way to communicate even if it has to get loud about it.
What animals remind us about protection
Animals never ignore their cues.
They eat when they’re hungry, rest when they’re tired, and shake when they’re scared. They don’t judge their stress or try to “push through”; they let their bodies do what they need to do.
Recently, I watched one of our geese sitting on her nest (so I obviously took a picture, lol), feathers fluffed and eyes sharp. She was visibly stressed, protecting her baby from what she perceived as a threat — me, standing too close with my camera.
The moment I stepped back, she settled almost instantly. The tension melted away, and she returned to calmly guarding her gosling.
It reminded me that we all have a “mama goose” part inside — the one that flares up when something precious feels unsafe.
Sometimes that protective part becomes overactive, snapping or attacking when all it’s really trying to say is:
“Don’t hurt what’s vulnerable in me.”
Stress isn’t the enemy.
It’s protection.
But when protection never turns off, it becomes exhausting for us and for the people around us.
Even our inner mama goose needs to know it’s safe to rest.
Reconnecting to the body
Therapy often starts by rebuilding this connection.
We begin by noticing what your body is already saying — tension, breath, temperature, posture — and learning how to respond instead of overriding.
Over time:
signals become clearer
boundaries feel more accessible
rest and pleasure become safer to experience
The more you listen when your body says “I’m stressed,” the more it trusts you enough to also say, “I’m safe.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to feel disconnected from my body under stress?
Yes. Disconnection is often a protective response, not a failure. It’s the body’s way of managing overwhelm.
Can learning to notice stress actually help it release?
Yes. Stress often resolves when the body feels seen and supported rather than ignored or pushed through.
Can therapy help with this kind of stress?
Absolutely. Trauma-informed therapy can help you reconnect with your body safely and learn how to complete stress responses instead of carrying them indefinitely.
Want to learn more?
If you’re curious about how stress lives in the body and nervous system, these are thoughtful starting points:
Waking the Tiger — Peter Levine
Anchored — Deb Dana
If this resonates
If you’ve been feeling disconnected from your body — through stress, exhaustion, or even in moments of intimacy — therapy can help you rebuild that connection gently and safely.
You don’t have to force yourself to feel differently.
📞 Call or text: 343-587-2021
📅 Book here: https://aws-portal.owlpractice.ca/wanderingwillow/booking